I often ask God to show me a “sign”, to help me understand His direction for me. I think, this time, even I understood these signs.
For months I have been wrestling with the discernment process for ordination and asking God to show me if I was supposed to follow the call and become and ordained ELCA pastor. As the churchwide assembly prepared to vote on the Human Sexuality social statement, I told myself that if it passed I would not seek ordination. It passed. I kept discerning. I could not reach a point of peace about stopping the process. Four days after the statement was passed I received an email from CLASServices announcing a 30 year celebration reunion and conference including alumni Patsy Clairmont. The significance of announcement lies that while the social statement was being passed I was in Dallas attending the Women of Faith conference featuring Patsy and several other gifted speakers, authors and other dedicated and inspiring teachers.
For a brief moment, I thought I understood the prompting and reserved my hotel room for the event. This in and of itself was a stretch. First of all, David didn’t have “traditional” employment and I didn’t now where we might be living or in what kind of financial shape we would be in when it came time to attend to the conference. I didn’t register to attend. I simply reserved a room with the option to cancel at any time without a penalty. I had in essence tiptoed into the possiblity without fully committing or trusting. Fast forward from August to February (because I still had not taken any action toward attending the reunion and conference.)
David and I started reading a book by Dan Miller, 48 Days to the Work You Love. During the fast forward time, there was still no job offer for David and I had been serving in my church while an interim pastor left, a supply pastor arrived and a church division was brewing. I was interested in seeing what 48 days might bring for either or both of us. We’ve “read” books together before. David drives, I read aloud. It’s a way for us to connect and communicate and me not sleep during a road trip.
We got through chapter 5 by the time we were ready to make some assumptions and take some risks of faith. The decision or “deal” we made was IF David had enough air miles we would book my trip, charge the rest and trust we could pay off the expenses quickly. After several hours of attempts, no luck. No flights, not even to remote airports. By now, I was so desperately wanted to go I was willing to be humble and ask for help. My plan was to see if a scholarship was available and if I qualified it would be that much less out of pocket.
I woke up the morning of Feb. 16 ready to be vulnerable. I turned on my computer and as God would have it, there was already an email from the event coordinator. She noticed that I had reserved my hotel room but never registered for the conference and was concerned that something might have fallen through the cracks. I quickly responded to her inquiry that nothing had fallen through the cracks. I was living in the cracks! I shared our situation with her and learned there was no scholarship available. Would I consider a roommate to help offset my expenses she proposed. I jumped at the chance. She did some checking and by the end of the day I had a roommate. I also had a supporter donate their airline miles for my ticket. By the morning of the 17th I was pumped. Registering for the conference was my next step. Within hours of clicking submit, my husband called. He had received an unexpected check in the mail for exact amount of my registration.
By now, yes, even I got it. I was supposed to go to California. I was so amazed by the blessings raining down and the doors flying open, I couldn’t help but share. Two days before I left, I had one more surprise. Some friends of ours pulled me aside and told me I wasn’t going to like what they wanted to tell me. I braced myself for the worst. I couldn’t imagine what was coming next. They wanted to express their appreciation for the help David and I have given them in the past and to support my trip in a way they were able. They pressed a handful of cash into my palm insisting I receive their offering to help cover my hotel expenses. My heart was overwhelmed with gratitude to the extent that tears flowed down my cheeks. Due to their geneorsity, I only had to pay $20 to cover the remaining balance for my room for the entire trip.
The rest of the story, well, it is a story on its own. But this time, even I understood the signs.
